In case you were wondering, yes I actually do work. I go into the office every morning at about 8:30am and don't leave until about 5pm. Yes I know that's a shorter workday and yes I get an hour lunch, but let me tell you, its enough. Not necessarily enough to get the work done, but enough to go home tired. A lot of my work at the moment is in front of a computer screen, though over the next few months that will change dramatically. But I decided to "prove" that I work by posting a pic of me working with some of our translators to prepare for some upcoming workshops. Because we don't currently have a building with a room big enough to hold us all, these prep sessions were held outside under our tent. Windy, but pleasant. Working with our staff has been a huge joy of mine. Please be in prayer about the upcoming workshops, for good health, energy, and Swahili. Birthday Wish List As some of you know, my 28th birthday is coming up in just a few weeks. Some of you have anticipated this and asked what you might send. If you are not one of the aforementioned, please do not worry. I don't expect anything. But here are some ideas if you're interested :)
Flavored oatmeal packets (the cinnamon, maple and brown sugar variety packs)
Flavored tuna packets
Instant grits and Velveeta (for cheese grits, my birthday special, though I think my aunt may have already signed up for this)
Duncan Hines Blueberry Streusel Muffin Mix
Shin guards (seriously, this actually isn't a joke. Sunday soccer is painful)
Lawry's Seasoning Salt
Dark chocolate
Retractable clothesline
Workout videos (sigh)
Pretty journal
Cd's
Any books or cds from my Amazon Wish List (look it up using my hotmail address)
Shipping Advice and Address: Don't make it look attractive; use a lot of tape so people won't want to spend time busting into it; be honest, but creative when listing contents (books as "educational materials," shirt from Target as "Target product"); double/triple wrap food so ants don't get in; use garage sale prices for price estimate. Ellen McCaskill PO Box 1235 Musoma TANZANIA
My life right now is a never ending state of not knowing what the heck is going on. This is a combination of my general lack of understanding of both language and culture. What it means is that I do a lot of smiling and nodding, and am gradually learning not to have any expectations of timing, because they are bound to be wrong.So mostly I just sit and follow people around. Sometimes I try to ask someone, but as I generally don’t understand the answer, this is often a less than effective method.Even when I do understand the words, and think I’ve caught the meaning, more often than not I’ve missed a cultural cue that gives the words another meaning entirely. Even in the rare cases that I do think I know what’s going on, I’m usually wrong.
This is a very exhausting state to live in. I consider myself a generally flexible person, certainly moreso than many others I know, but always being confused is hard. I miss “getting” things, knowing what’s expected of me, being able to ask the right questions to figure out what I don’t know. People say this will get better, I just wish I knew when. Some days are better than others, some days actually go somewhat as I expect.Sometimes I understand what people are saying when they talk to me, and somedays I have good conversations with people. Some days I don’t mind the up in the air feeling and can embrace the adventure of it. Some days I’m so sick of it I just want to hide in my room. It’s not that I don’t like the culture or the way things happen, it’s that I don’t understand it and constantly feel lost.
So what is God teaching me through this? I don’t know. I wish I could clearly say. But it is my prayer that he is using it for my sanctification and that someday I’ll at least be able to understand a bit more than I do now. And in the meantime I pray for the grace I need for each day to accept that I don’t know what I am doing or what’s happening, and to rest, trusting that God does know all those things, and won’t give me more than I can bear.
Yesterday was an hilarious crazy day in my life here, and I'd like to take a moment to share. My morning started around 9am when I rose from my luxurious slumber. Had a cup of coffee and an egg, then got ready for church. So far so good. The church service is supposed to start around 10 and so that's about when I leave the house. While walking up the road I get a call from my friend Parusi, who has seen me from behind. I am very thankful she is going to the same church that day...it means I won't have to sit alone. So we arrive late, but you can't exactly "slip in" because the door is in the front. But nonetheless, we walk in and take a seat. The church is held in a local school, so rather than pews we're sitting in desks, wide enough for two people to sit on, no backs. Very comfortable. We sing a few songs, but I don't have a song book, so I just do my best. I think in the course of the service there were approximately 3 sermons. Sunday school was pretty much a sermon, then came the real sermon, then another guy got up and appeared to be reiterating all that had just been said. There were also 20 minutes of announcements, and at the end, a 15 minute lecture about being on time to church in order to show respect to God. Oops. Only about 15% of all the speaking I really understood, which is actually an improvement. So the service is longer than usual, and I don't get home till after 1. I immediately go to the kitchen to start preparing for our July 4th cookout. My responsibility is chips, salsa, and guac. So I go to make tortillas and discover we barely have any flour or shortening, and have no milk. Darn. So I look up a non-milk recipe for tortillas and try to make do. The tortillas are gross, but I have to make them into chips anyways, because there's no redo having used all the flour already. Then I go to make salsa. I pull out the produce I bought the day before to discover I only have 4 tomatoes, a kind of imperative ingredient in salsa. So I make the salsa with the ingredients I have, only I decide to put in 2 small hot peppers, making the salsa scorch the inside of your mouth. Sigh. In the meantime, a neighbor's 9 year old daughter has come over just to hang out. I give her a soda, but am busy in the kitchen, so she eventually gravitates there. She helps me squash the avocados, which is nice I must say. The problem is, she's also peeping around in all the cabinets and occasionally leaving the kitchen to peep in other places. She gets some nice chocolate out of the fridge and eats it (and gives me some to eat as well). So the kitchen is a wreck with nasty dry tortilla/chip crumbs everywhere, all my chips are burning in the oven, and the salsa is virtually inedible. So I try to get ready to go to soccer at 4. I pack bags with the stuff for the cookout, and the child is still roaming around, now counting up the Uno cards. When I'm about ready to kick her out, I notice that she has made a little "goodie bag" for herself. In a little ziplock bag she has places 3 little powdered drink packets, a sheet of paper, two (imported) Bic pencils, and a nice inky red pen from the US. Both the pencils and pen had been retrieved from my room, at least I think so. I look at her questioningly about the bag, and she looks a little embarrassed. She's a sweet kid and wasn't being sly about it, so as a compromise I take out the nice pen and one pencil, leaving her with the rest. She also borrows two books, but does finally leave. Then my taxi is late picking me up. All my usual rides are gone, so I end up just waiting for 20 minutes for the taxi. I finally get to soccer, a highlight of the week for me, and after about 15 minutes in goal, I have to go inside because I have horrendous stomach cramps. So I spend most of the next hour in the bathroom. Meanwhile, my friend Kelly has added a load of tomatoes to the salsa, which has dumbed it down a bit, but still leaving it quite hot. So then we decide to head over to the location of the July 4th cookout. Though an American party, we head over Tanzanian style. In one Land Cruiser we have 4 adults, 5 kids, lots of food, and a water cooler. Please don't ask questions about car seats and seat belts. The cookout was great. We didn't really cookout, but we had pretzel dogs, potato salad, cabbage salad, my chips and salsa, watermelon, fresh lemonade, festive cupcakes, and smores. We sat around the campfire, sang songs, and told stories. Was great American style fun and a great way to celebrate the 4th. Their neighbors also had a huge fire and it was popping loudly with about 7 foot flames. The popping sounded a bit like fireworks, so we all felt it was very appropriate. When I finally got home, I decided my final celebratory activity would be watching an episode of West Wing. Then in my exhaustion, I fell into bed with the decision not to go to work the next day, but instead have an actual day off. Good decision.
While the eyes of the world were riveted on the games of the World Cup, here in Musoma we had another soccer game with high stakes and emotions: the Weupe Stars versus Wabongo. You’ve never heard of these teams? Let me give a brief history:
Every Sunday, a group of us get together for a friendly soccer match, mostly missionaries. This is low-key soccer with plenty of breaks. Some are quite good, others not so much, but we all have a good time playing. Even I have learned to love the sport again after so many years away (haven’t played since high school). I also discovered that I play exactly the same way as I did when I was 10, aggressively and with minimal skill. This means every Sunday I get injured in some way (anyone who wants to send shin guards, knee pads, or cleats you are very welcome).
Anyways, getting to the main point, some of our Tanzanian colleagues at the office had been giving Michael, a missionary here, endless amounts of grief about how we would get whooped in a game versus the Tanzanians. So Michael decided we should take them on, and we did. The date was set for the big game.
The week preceding the match was filled with trash talk and hilarity. One of the translators informed me that if I was in goal, he would score 10 goals against me.
Last Friday the day of the big game arrived; you could smell the excitement in the air at the office. During chai time our team even had a secret strategy planning meeting complete with a chart of the field. At 3:30, we all headed over to the field (aka Michael’s front yard, which he has actually done up very nicely. It’s probably the nicest pitch in Musoma). It was beautifully mowed with center line, penalty boxes and everything.
Everyone from the office came out for the game, wives and kids too. Mama Vanessa, Alison, and Rukia all painted their faces half white and half black, or at least they tried to (see pictures below), in order to demonstrate their support of both teams. Kelly made signs out of a box for the 2 teams "Wabongo" and "Weusi Stars." Others made signs of support as well. Mama Sophia (who works for Michael and Kelly) made horns from a papaya tree and stuck leaves in her hair. Kateti, our partnership officer, was our self-appointed referee. He had a whistle as well as a yellow card and red card in his pocket.
To begin the game, we lined up and entered the field. The ref invited up the special guest (our team leader’s wife, Chris) to start off the game. She said a few words and greeted us all. Then the real insanity ensued.
The game was crazy, partly because people I usually see in work clothes were wearing athletic gear, or the Tanzanian version of it in some cases. Please look at the pics below for an amazing jogging suit as well as the purple pants/sweater vest combo. I played in goal the whole time wore goalie gloves, which I loved. The Weupe Stars scored 3 pretty quickly, but after that it was a pretty even match. Wabongo had much better ball handling skills over all, but we still held our own. As goalie, yes I did let a few in, but I stopped way more than I let through. The crowd was wildly impressed (partly because I was also the only girl on the field). I did smack quite a few away, sometimes one after another. One of the translators told me I was very “kali” (fierce). And that was even before I dramatically threw my body between his foot and the ball when he was about to score. Scared him a bit I think. But I must say, even today I’ve had people at the office coming up to me and telling me what a good keeper I am. I’ve earned some new respect here, as well as bruises on my knees.J
Anyways, toward the end Wabongo totally dominated and our defense couldn't hold them off. Still, the game ended a 5-5 draw, and I think everyone was really satisfied with that. So, all said and done, it was a lot of fun, and I think did a lot for good old team spirit, all the way around. Chris presented both teams with a trophy cup (some kind of glass wrapped in foil) and there's a pic of everyone "holding" it. I almost blacked out from the stench when everyone raised their arms to get a hand on it.
Now that was a fantastic day, probably one of the best I remember here. Everyone was really happy, and I'm actually still smiling about it 3 days later. I think one fun game like that does more for team unity than endless hours of “team building” activities. And yes, there has indeed been talk of a rematch.
Teams lining up before the game
Mama Sophia in cheer gear
Adoring Fans
Happy Goalie
Referee Kateti
Dunno who these people are, but they wanted to watch
Samson and his mad ball skills
One happy Futakamba
Getting ready for the game
Chris and Tirzah practicing their cheers
Wanse in shorts
Head in the game
Our white/black cheer squad
The Mgeni Maalum presents the trophy
The Shared Victory
So I kept holding off on writing a post, for what reason I do not know, and now the month of June is almost gone. That truly is amazing, for it has been quite a month. So I'll just pick out some "lights" (both high and low) from the past month.
Training sessions with our translators: At the beginning of these sessions, I was quite literally in a cold sweat. Full blown freaking out nearing on anxiety attacks. Yet as the month has proceeded, it's gotten worlds better, thanks to God alone, for I am fully certain it has nothing to do with me. I've started to really enjoy teaching, and I feel like my Swahili is slowly improving, at least to the point where most basic communication isn't traumatizing. Praise the Lord!
Earlier this month, around the time of my freak-out sessions, I was struggling with the fact that I didn't feel any hope, and I also saw people around me struggling with this same thing. One morning, I was lead to read the first few verses of Romans 5: that suffering leads to perseverance, perseverance to character, and character to hope. I've never considered anything I've faced as worthy of the title "suffering," but I decided that I was in pain, so I would count it. I also realized that I wanted the hope first, in the midst of the suffering, but I see that God builds our character through the suffering and persevering. When we go through it, and trust God with the results, that's when we have true hope. I also looked at Hebrews 12, where we are told that the discipline of God is proof of his love. If he didn't discipline, it wouldn't be love. And it says that discipline is painful, but that it doesn't last forever. For the first time in my life I think, I really felt like God was saying to me, "Ellen, I love you enough to put you through this. And trust me, the work I'm doing in you is worth it." So now the new fight is to view the pain in my life as evidence of God's amazing love for me.
I've been working through a prayer journal that goes through the names of God and invited you to pray using those names. I've done things like this before, but in this case, a friend of mine wrote a prayer for me at the beginning of each week in the journal. Every Monday I look forward to reading what she has prayed for me. What a great way to start the week.
I teach several guys at the office English, and my favorite word to make them say is "rarely." Tanzanians have difficulty distinguishing l and r and don't use that first vowel much either. I seriously want to record there attempts for when I need a good laugh.
Alias and Lost and Doctor Who: aka my evening entertainment in the month of June
My first experience with amoeba. Yes, I had an amoeba living in me and was well aware of the fact. I got to experience a local clinic, where you bring your personal "sample" in a matchbox to the lab. I walked in, gave the man my matchbox, he took a little blood (malaria test), and 45 minutes later learned I had amoeba. And let me tell you, that antibiotic is strong. I don't think I got out of bed for 24 hours.
After having amoeba all weekend, I returned from work early in Monday to find our househelp wearing only my blanket while her clothes were drying. I said nothing, but went right to bed.
I baked oatmeal bread for the first time, little sketchy, but turned out pretty yummy
Well, that's my month in a series of bullet points, and I'll add a couple pics, so it can be my month in bullet points and pictures, though the pics are older than that. Oh well. Happy June! With great friends on a big rock
Cooked a pumpkin for the first time. Made roasted pumpkin, roasted pumpkin seeds, steamed pumpkin, and a rather unorthodox pumpkin soup. Yum.
Supposedly you are supposed to drive on the left side of the road here. This is arguable. I typically find that on the main road from my house into town, the safest place to drive is down the middle of the road, thereby avoiding pedestrians, pikipikis (motorcycles), and bicycles with massive loads of sticks, coal, or occasionally poultry
Take special care on rainy days. In order to avoid puddles, the bicycles and pikipikis will randomly swerve in front of your car.
Be aware of bicyclists carrying long pieces of lumber. You won’t necessarily see this until the lumber is about to go through your windshield.
Large buses hurdle down the exact center road at extreme speeds. Move as far over as you can without hitting anyone and pray.
Honk early and often. The horn is a useful tool, especially if you drive a “small” and “silent” Rav4. The honk lets people know you are there. Occasionally when you honk, a bicyclist will actually move over. But this comes with a warning attached: they might turn their head to look at you and in doing so swerve directly in front of you.
When preparing to make a right hand turn, check to make sure you are not in fact being passed on the right by a pikipiki. This can cause problems.
DO NOT assume that when you are passing a vehicle you will not in fact be passed as well. This includes passing large vehicles on narrow roads, it can always happen. So I would like you all take a moment to picture yourself attempting to pass a slow bus in town only to realize that you are in fact being passed by a daladala (15 passenger van used for public transportation) on a narrow road with oncoming traffic. Experience the joy and terror.
Demonstrate extra caution at the town’s roundabout. Rules vary, and pedestrians sometimes ignore the whole situation.
So I've been experimenting the last few days. After reading an article about a man who gave up multi-tasking for one month, I decided that it would probably be a good example to follow. It seems lately my mind is completely chaotic. I can't focus on any one thing for any period of time. While reading an orthography sketch I'm Skyping with a friend, picking at my fingernails, and possibly playing minesweeper. At home I talk on the phone, clean my room, and again, most likely play minesweeper. This is not an effective way to live. So, the last 3 days I've been trying to do just one thing at a time, or at least strongly suppress my multi-tasking tendencies. Here is what I've discovered: For the most part, I find that I'm happier, because I'm actually able to get things done. By focusing on just one thing, the time actually goes quite a bit faster. I find that I enjoy the things I'm doing more. I actually get more out of a phone conversation when all I'm doing is talking, rather than talking and cleaning my room. I'm also learning that doing one thing at a time requires planning. If I can't do all of these things at the same time, I have to give myself the time to do each of the things individually. I also am more aware of just how out of control this habit has gone. I want to be clear: most of my multi-tasking is not mandatory, its voluntary. So why has this bad habit become more and more noticeable in my life? My best guess is that I've been using it as an avoidance technique. If I feel like I suck at my job, at least I can suck at it while chatting with a friend. But then if I spend time at work, I need to be productive at home, so when I should just chat to a friend, I then feel obligated to simultaneously cook or clean. And so the cycle continues. I only recently considered that if I actually focused on things, maybe I wouldn't do such a terrible job of them. Revolutionary, I know. Anyways, just more musings. I think my little experiment has been good for me, and I plan to continue it for a good while. Feel free to ask me how it's going! On the Peninsula
So here I am, livin' the dream in Musoma TZ. Days are good, days are rough, and in this blog you see a little of all of it. Just me as I stumble along, doing my best to serve Jesus in a small town in East Africa. Would love to hear your comments about what I write, all helping me feel a bit more connected with the world I left behind. Mbarikiwe!
