Proof that I work + Birthday Wish List

In case you were wondering, yes I actually do work. I go into the office every morning at about 8:30am and don't leave until about 5pm. Yes I know that's a shorter workday and yes I get an hour lunch, but let me tell you, its enough. Not necessarily enough to get the work done, but enough to go home tired. A lot of my work at the moment is in front of a computer screen, though over the next few months that will change dramatically. But I decided to "prove" that I work by posting a pic of me working with some of our translators to prepare for some upcoming workshops. Because we don't currently have a building with a room big enough to hold us all, these prep sessions were held outside under our tent. Windy, but pleasant. Working with our staff has been a huge joy of mine. Please be in prayer about the upcoming workshops, for good health, energy, and Swahili.


Birthday Wish List
As some of you know, my 28th birthday is coming up in just a few weeks. Some of you have anticipated this and asked what you might send. If you are not one of the aforementioned, please do not worry. I don't expect anything. But here are some ideas if you're interested :)

• Flavored oatmeal packets (the cinnamon, maple and brown sugar variety packs)
• Flavored tuna packets
• Instant grits and Velveeta (for cheese grits, my birthday special, though I think my aunt may have already signed up for this)
• Duncan Hines Blueberry Streusel Muffin Mix
  
• Shin guards (seriously, this actually isn't a joke. Sunday soccer is painful)
• Lawry's Seasoning Salt
• Dark chocolate
• Retractable clothesline
• Workout videos (sigh)
  
• Pretty journal
  
• Cd's
• Any books or cds from my Amazon Wish List (look it up using my hotmail address)

Shipping Advice and Address: Don't make it look attractive; use a lot of tape so people won't want to spend time busting into it; be honest, but creative when listing contents (books as "educational materials," shirt from Target as "Target product"); double/triple wrap food so ants don't get in; use garage sale prices for price estimate.
Ellen McCaskill
PO Box 1235
Musoma
TANZANIA

Thanks and hope you all have a happy day!

Wait! What's Going On?

My life right now is a never ending state of not knowing what the heck is going on. This is a combination of my general lack of understanding of both language and culture. What it means is that I do a lot of smiling and nodding, and am gradually learning not to have any expectations of timing, because they are bound to be wrong. So mostly I just sit and follow people around. Sometimes I try to ask someone, but as I generally don’t understand the answer, this is often a less than effective method. Even when I do understand the words, and think I’ve caught the meaning, more often than not I’ve missed a cultural cue that gives the words another meaning entirely. Even in the rare cases that I do think I know what’s going on, I’m usually wrong.

This is a very exhausting state to live in. I consider myself a generally flexible person, certainly moreso than many others I know, but always being confused is hard. I miss “getting” things, knowing what’s expected of me, being able to ask the right questions to figure out what I don’t know. People say this will get better, I just wish I knew when. Some days are better than others, some days actually go somewhat as I expect. Sometimes I understand what people are saying when they talk to me, and somedays I have good conversations with people. Some days I don’t mind the up in the air feeling and can embrace the adventure of it. Some days I’m so sick of it I just want to hide in my room. It’s not that I don’t like the culture or the way things happen, it’s that I don’t understand it and constantly feel lost.

So what is God teaching me through this? I don’t know. I wish I could clearly say. But it is my prayer that he is using it for my sanctification and that someday I’ll at least be able to understand a bit more than I do now. And in the meantime I pray for the grace I need for each day to accept that I don’t know what I am doing or what’s happening, and to rest, trusting that God does know all those things, and won’t give me more than I can bear.