A Little Lecture

Well I got a little lecture today, a nice and needed one, but a challenge nonetheless. I sat down at chai time next to one of our translators, an older pastor. He's one of the best, always a smile on his face and a real heart for the Lord. Well, he asked me if my Swahili had gotten better or worse since I left language school. I told him quite truthfully that it had gotten worse and he asked why. I responded that I am embarrassed/ashamed to speak Swahili because my Swahili is so bad. He told me that I shouldn't be embarrassed and then told me a story about two little boys, one who was shy/embarrassed. Quite honestly I didn't understand the story (he spoke quietly and in Swahili), but I got the message that being shy is bad. He told me that I would never get anywhere that way, that I needed to be willing to speak and make mistakes, and that if I did, God would bless me.

So I almost cried, but didn't. Language has been such a frustration to me, and I realize now that others have noticed, which then becomes even more embarrassing. He was trying to challenge and encourage me, but you know that feeling when you realize that others see your weakness as clearly as you do?And then I fight the battle of comparison, looking at others and seeing how wonderfully they speak Swahili and start up conversations with strangers. So today I just felt exposed. Then I went back into my office and studied Swahili for an hour to make myself feel better. We'll see how long that lasts.
So please be praying for this my friends. I'm not sure the next steps to take to improve my Swahili, and lately seem to utterly lack the gumption and bravery to do so. Pray for creativity, boldness, and small encouragements.

!!Now, For Your Amusement!!!
A sign from a guest house I stayed at in Nairobi. A little vowel can make a BIG difference